Friends?

This feeling is lonely , feel my heart , for way too long .... i lie awake because i'm scare !

there are some feeling that you always stay behind and you got to feel it by yourself it/s hard to tell somebody how you feel sometimes when you don't even know how to express or tell . when the time you notice that you are deeply mad or sad it's too late to share your feeling out because it's just too late. Sometimes people said that they know you well but at the end how much do they really know you when you don't know how much about yourself.

when i'm deeply sad i have no people to tell and said i just sit down at home and listen to my music and start to think of those memories and then start to realize that how many friends do i really have the good one and the just for entertain once i have no idea , somehow i've just feel that begin alone is all i want but too bad sometimes things comes and goes around my life line it's hard .I've no hope on my friends because i don't know what positions am i . sometimes noisy people talking that can calm me down ... i have no idea why and so but that always does at here , but i just don't know what i really want at my life because i'm scare .

 sometimes you stay at home and you look at your facebook and you notice that no one really around there you just don't know what it happens but it happen . well i have there's one day i went to facebook and spam all the online list people that i so called know and  there are one person called johnny reply me and ask me for tea and i actually went out and when i reach there a-wei was there too had a talking season and it's about hours or two we went home because they two need to work and it's kinda late at that time ... in those conversation i've notice that is always people around just that i did not get them updated so people around is getting smaller and smaller connection ... which i notice that it happen on me most of the friends that close to me are not really around ...  i have no idea what happen and why it happen ... weird right . neh it  happen on me i don't know how about you ... i can't hate myself but have to have my own attitude because it made me change ....

I've got a msg from a person he said hei stop blaming yourself when you notice there you are not the problem here and stop begin an stupid ass .. if you are not just stop blaming yourself .

I've stop begin emo because it only make me sad but not solve my problem ...

People are acting weird !

sometimes i feel very sad about my life, all my friends that so called friends actually use me , and i already fed up with this kind of attitude, well well i must stop thinking about it because it's not going to change anything if i'm angry or anything else. Well i just get my another internet line done and i'm waiting for the mini laptop to send over now , it works pretty well on the line and i think it's good .

I always learn things from life , if you drink beer you started to look around you and you see sometime you were just begin lucky , well i was thought to do something like this, if you not happy just go to the pub had a cold beer or a jar or 2 and sit down and talk to yourself tell yourself you are as lucky then those people around , at first i don't think it really works after a drunk night , i sit at the door and look at the dark sky , and i start to tell myself
why is that the star so beautiful today? i ask ,and i reply myself because it's always there just that you don't see .wow such as interesting fact i told myself.

I started to hate everything again , people around me , they love to talk about shit that can't be change , which i hate most of the time , they said the high way road is suck they should have another road , so i ask so in order to make it better which road do you think you need to have an extra road for the high way , you know what there's no answer from the one who condemn that only make things worst.I've learn if you want to condemn you got to have a solution for yourself not just telling people that's the problem and you can't really fix it , it's wasted of time to bring out such a topic with no ending.

Well life it's just being boring nowadays , there's like no direction in front , there's no hope line i saw .People around me they only care about themselves which i already found it out myself , i no longer need shadow to wait me anymore because i know my shadow is pickup very fast with me , lol what the hell i'm talking ... just don't care about that just something i want to said.

Things that i think is correct and do it's like very wrong to do , i got that kind of feeling i i just don't know why and what happen , going to RNH apprentice program i should be happy but now i'm worry about alot of shit such as india there this and that ... argggg just drop that shit ,i'm telling myself

This is something i digital painting it out thanks to roberto.freire to give me this permission to colour his works i just love this to be colour !!!!

After 3 week I'm back.

Woot... kinda had some work on hand , this is my free time now, kinda working on Uncle Tan office stuff , solve all the design that he ask now it's my time to refine all the design and stuff, was requested to do some layout for the website for him that pass my 3 weeks on those projects. kinda still in progress so it's will be kinda slow now due to my final project is on.

I went to check out my result that day ... guess what ... 2A2B kinda surprise me that i get that. did not really know how but i try, for the last 4 month before i leave my X group i had a dream , it show that if i keep up with them i will just spout out , lucky i follow what i dream it's kinda hard at the 1st , but it end up kinda fun too.Sometimes i'm just over react that something gonna happen so i keep do what i can that why i get what i want now. 

Actually i don't care how people said about me anymore good or bad . I seriously don't care anymore since I've the problem that i should have solve it early but i keep drag and drag.... what the use when you drag a things ... no use at all , soon or later it's just happen like that . so i don't care anymore .

Someone gave me up , i walk my way searching for the correct answer . Rumors said this and that spread it around  lots of problem generate it out , i just don't know why you dare to tell people how bad is but you don't dare to said it when it's in front. 

Well i had a major down fall after Uncle pass away at hospital just like that...6 month back , it happen a lots of things in my life , was kinda lost and i don't know where to go ... but i still remember what you said "Hold me now don't cry, don't say a word  just hold me now and I will know, Dream and don't be afraid the dream's not real close your eyes, and pretend." seriously it from the stupid song that i listen before.. but when a person about to go everything what he said already go into my mind.Since i'm like your god child but it seem like i did not done well enough that time... there is a sem which everyone is not happy in the group and end up problem came out .. was very worry about it that time, but i dream of something else , it's just like a sign to tell me leave the group they don't need me anymore , that's what i did and all the things just happen like a dream . the major down fall i really learn a lot , things that i don't want i will just cut it off and forget about it.

No one understand my feeling , so i've just keep to myself and i think it's about time to give it all up now stop wasting time on things that can't came back or recovery. all i want is get what i want do what i should do.for the pass week i've doing something planning very cool , i plan all my stuff again ... i plan how to sleep what to eat... and what to do ... cycling always .. to keep me fat in fit shape .  

I was not very happy for the last few weeks ago , a lot of shit happen and i don't know how to control , Mic said that i have change , he said i was a very good leader last time but not now.he said , and he also told me that he'll still respect me and be my shadow , from that point i've decided to let go my ego and sit down to listen things i should now.

There was a day i went to a pub and sit alone there , and i was drinking alone and look everything happen in the pub why people were so happy when they are in here, i just don't get it.well a lots of flash back just like those movie ... like it's the 1st time i had my beer in the pub.I sit there and think again and again ... i notice it's time.Things that i went through happy sad things happen ......i went home and drink continue i count can by can only i realize that  i hate beer , but i love it now. i just don't know why i like it so much it's like totally different now.I also learn that things that i like now maybe later i will hate it. 

Don't make conclusion 1st do a try first because your theory might be wrong. 

I just love writing so much it's like my little diary of everything , Uncle told me Sam If one day you read back your own blog , you will know you changes a lots and you are growing up very fast, for the last 3 week i started to read from the 1st page till present days . I actually see the changing of me so seriously ... there are a lots of tear in here and joyful memories.

I actually made myself a visual board to keep me back in track , it really work , most of the things in my visual board before 25, i'm like getting few things i already had.. it's just like a dream come true believe it or not this work for real, i tell myself i want that i want that , don't ask yourself how to get it , all you need is you got to believe that you already have , it's works perfectly ...!!! i had my watch , puppies ,my 1st design payout. all just happen in this few month and it's amazing ....

There will be no picture for this post.

all i want to said is SAMSON YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY 90 KG and you promises that you must have beautiful chest in next 2 month  that why i promises myself in my visual board.

Some stupid joke that i had today when i'm watching IRON MAN 2 in cinema , we went to watch movie at Tropicana mall and the fun parts is , there was an uncle sit beside Sum and his phone ring few time already ... the 3rd time he ring sum told that uncle that his phone ringing and the uncle reply it's music ...can't you imagine that it's music !! 3 time already ... hahaha then Sum told that uncle to switch the phone to silent ...

that the best joke of my day today.

And somehow people don't really know how to enjoy a movie , IRON MAN 2 is cold joke movie and i found out that people read the subtitle more then your listen that why they said it's bored and not nice.I personal think that it's kinda cool and great about it no comment.

DIscovery or recovery.

It's been a long day out there , went it's time that's it. Well sometime i just don't know why people think that i'm so free like nothing to do sit at home, i might be doing some work while keeping myself on line ,out of sudden you will have some pop up msg that people will msg you sometimes you don't really want to reply because you know it may take never ending to chat.

As a reason pass today , I've learn what is coincidence , Dion ask me early about this why did you not drive out to here? i answer why should i drive out? and then he said you know what i should tell kenny about that, that is why i asking. so believe it or not i post a msg on facebook about it that is "You always ask around to search for the answer to replace your question, you should have your own brain." Dion is always asking for answer even when we were small that time , he's quite smart at trick people to answer his question. so it's just timing problem yet someone unexpected coincidence reply the msg. well i also confess  that it's not them well let it be believe it or not , it dependence on how you see things from this view.

I don't want to argue in a conversation that i assume something will happen, since last time he posted a lot of funny msg but he did not list the name so i assume it's not me , but when time goes i think back , it much more like giving me hints that he's directly point at me. if you want to tell me things straight just let me know. sometime it's wrong situation and wrong emotion , you might have a fight or a cold war with your family , i might have that too.  when things are not chilled it's make more worst. 

You said i did not find you tea neither my friends . now everyone is busy about their own stuff . Tea? maybe we should put it break. it's break time , time to have some food and back to work.
this situation has been with me more then 6 month , since i doing my final project and it's quite heavy job for all of us to do so.

Who don't want to have tea everyday talking around about life, i'm almost lifeless now. the time i have is at after midnight so you free after midnight?

friends said that it's a generation gap, if yes why can we be friends with uncles they all you said they are generation gap even do we don't see each other much nowadays but still keep in contact, might drop me a funny msg or drop me an email. so where's the generation gap now?
i don't know how this came out from your mouth , but you were just helping well i understand.

And i just realize i'm having holiday now , things i check back my facebook it's like quite sometime i did not put a massive spam on people facebook , now i can do it .After today it's time to help Uncle Tan to settle his website things , pretty much i hear the brief and it's shocking , broacher and logo design and his company it's like have lots of product , it made me kinda confuse sometimes, many logo and the not so fun parts is he don't know what he wants so i have to decide to give him some idea.

So means holiday is still doing work, even do my father is busy with Uncle Tan new office at kota kemuning and my brother is kinda busy with the hotel things in Penang.

I din ask much for rebate , as i can said i treat everyone the same way . even do sometimes friends beside said that don't waste time to help him or her , i do still help because i don't stand at people position to decide my answer. I don't need to psycho you to read anything from here but i was really grateful what i have been wrote it out, things i never said i never said. things that it should go to the public i'll just tell somebody.

I think the argument stop, with no recovery.
Things i should said i already told. things that i put in my heart it's become words .
sometimes you just need to let go , and you will find the true answer.

well if you still saw this msg to my still or no longer pet brother,
Congratulation on your wedding, hope you have happy moment with you wife.
You ask me before is she good ? remember how i answer you? You think she is good then she is good= ) .and no hard feeling for you the question i give you back is me good ? now that's your answer.

Oh ya i forget to mention this things , there are things like msn . you blocked people or you appeal offline , people that you block or appeal offline will not see anything from your update tittle, same goes to the facebook. And if you want to talk to me straight just directly send to me don't need to deleted me in facebook and shout out at your own status "if i can tell the person... blah and blah...." Thanks to my friends that updated me.

I just don't know who am i around you anymore.

well well it's my birthday i get something new on my right hand X D
a limited Green collection watch from G-shock , thanks anyway i know it's a heavy gift .
few friends that call me up and give me a wish early .

a lot of things happen , i did not really celebrate it actually feel that there is nothing much feeling empty in life already . since uncle pass away seem like not much people know it's my birthday..
firstly i'm not surprise about it because truly friendship really do care about this small things in life thanks to those who send me msg and was surprise that they know it's my birthday.

For those few people that celebrate with me thanks a lot i don't have any big party recently and cny also so sorry for that , have to control my financial already have small business to start .

busy with business planing and searching for location so many things to do , mengz is not free to talk about the things recently so have to do it myself 1st , do planning and stuff 1st Andy also quite buzy so we separate the work already.

Things i might get a bit sad that is my pet brother din even wish me on my birthday i though i was someone caring from his side , maybe i just wrong . am i? haiz last year i was upset actually and had a argument with him , we silent for few month . As i still remember  he said about friendship that really make me made at that time , he said until so important but he forget about people birthday and stuff , maybe i can't make him remember what he should , i should ask myself what am i , in his positions maybe just something else. I just think too much , mengz said sometimes you threat people like what they should but you don't get what you should have , so never threat people what you think they should , he told me.  i still 50 /50 agree on his statement sometimes but sometimes i'm 100% agree with him. Me and mengz we might have argument in between but lately we understand and we give steps .

sometime i ask should i threat people what i think?I just don't know maybe i follow my heart .
i've seem people betray me a along my life , things that i expect it's expected. 
i just don't know what should i do sometimes.

for my feeling , if a normal friend forget about something of me , i think it pretty normal . for a best friends forget something of me , i think it's a joke i will not happen. if a closed friends like your blood brother , they forget something of me i think i'm totally upset.

I remember the things you said , do you remember what i said?
I respect you so do i get my respect?
I am who to beside you?a friend?a best friend? blood brothers?actually nothing?

Wh question , you got a question now?

what    asking for information about something    What is your name?

what...for    asking for a reason, asking why    What did you do that for?

when    asking about time    When did he leave?

where    asking in or at what place or position    Where do they live?

which    asking about choice    Which colour do you want?

who    asking what or which person or people (subject)    Who opened the door?

whom    asking what or which person or people (object)    Whom did you see?

whose asking about ownership Whose are these keys?     Whose turn is it?

why    asking for reason, asking what...for    Why do you say that?

why don't    making a suggestion    Why don't I help you?

how    asking about manner    How does this work?

how + adj/adv    asking about extent or degree    see examples below

how far    distance    How far is Pattaya from Bangkok?

how long    length (time or space)    How long will it take?

how many    quantity (countable)    How many cars are there?

how much    quantity (uncountable)    How much money do you have?

how old    age    How old are you?

how come (informal)    asking for reason, asking why    How come I can't see her?

I'm sorry.

Maybe i did not really see lots of things beside me, i'm too careless.
who to blame on when i don't want to tell everyone about it.
it's my fault , it's ?

Sorry is not the words i'm looking for , do it better is the answer but how?
maybe i seriously change the way i'm thinking...

i don't know how , i don't have the answer all i have is just blink blink ...

Friendship , Relationship and partnership all seem like gone with the wind.
I'm sorry i did not take this friendship seriously.
I'm sorry i hang on a relationship on silent .
I'm sorry i don't know how to partner with people.
everything seem gone , it's just not like me.

I think i'm lost . everything is lost...

As life goes , things change , people change , attitude change and friendship change but you got to move on because everything happen for a reason. Get strong and live life to the fullness don't stop because of some small issue , you will never grow up.It's a long road ahead that you don't know how long you have.

Should i keep on taking?

well i'm kinda concern about my health , there are some reason that i have to take some pill to control my headache , well they might have said something that i should not want to hear about it , it's serious pain for few days until i can't really take.
it happen last year , i have no dough about it , after taking it i feel more relax, i also find ask some professional advice about the problem i have , so as i ask he ask me about you were way too young to have this kinda of problem , so i let him know my conditional and on and on , he said you might get rid of the sugar and need more time to sleep, try not to use those pill always well after listen to that i know the good and bad about it so , i stop taking pill and had more sleep . but he said if there are problem bothering you try to relax and think about it 1st maybe make it a positive thinking and so and so.... then i went home and think again does those problem really are? again and again... later and later i actually take less of the pill .

frankly i did not tell anyone , until today one of my close friends he said sam are you thinking something always? you face look different then before it's somethings happen to you, as he ask we chat and talk about it , he said i din know that was a problem to you.I explain to him and he understand my situation.

i just don't want people to worry about me , and i know how to control myself .I've stop those pill since last year , i made a promised and i will never going to break it.figure out that those pill will solve the pain problem but emotion level will rise there's problem between there , i started to worry too much and stress a lot always , even sometimes i get angry without reason .. so i blame the pill and i found it no it's not the pill it's the thinking of myself had a small change.

well enough of the painkiller things
Chinese new year is around , so i bought some 2 pair of new shoes and upgrade something meanwhile i had few pants that i went to 3pointsix and i get 3 long pants, went to zara zara ... bought a very green shirt ... and i should be happy right.



well don't ask why i bough 2 because i don't think the answer will bring you to somewhere hahaha. and don't ask why blue. and brown.


Today's i might fall a piece , until my living souls has no meaning
but someone show me that falling a piece it's just an experience about it ,
i was about to give up , and someone told me something that I've thinking all wrong all the time, no one has a perfect road to on a journey you might have small problems or big, life ain't stopping when something crush in , it show me that i have to work harder to get the perfect strength.

Don't get things for granted , when it's not 100% yours it's not yours.
you might think you have lovely moment and lots of things in between,
if some one would dish in you will never know , because they already plan ahead
before you blend in.I'll not tell anythings about this , you have to find your own ways to find the correct answer ,you are choosing the path of road of your own,
and it's all dependence on you.

sometimes i don't know who to tell , but i know someone i trust is not around.
so i kept all in my heart , i feel tired at the moment and i do have less oxygen came to my mind and i fell like fainting , i know it could happen one day , just one day when the days come , i know what i have to do.

today i went to dennis house and had a small gamble , as people know that i don't gamble a lot just to entertain ,i drank the wrong things at his house , a can of pepsi although i think was nothing when i came back home i can't really stand properly the sugar had a rush in my blood and i feel like fainting ...seriously i thought those things should not be a problem just one can . but no it's still the same , had to follow all the things again.

To my pet brother and his girlfriend , safe trip for you guys and blessing from my heart.

What phone should i buy?

yeah today few of my friends msg me update me that he want to get a new phone , he came across to me and ask for my opinion then i let him know that what's good and bad and is he a heavy user or just get rid of the motion sensor fun. so he said he love to have the motion sensor games then frankly you don't really know what can the phone do other then the games right , he said it look cool , i stunned for second actually i laugh quite hard . well i have no comment on what on your mind but at least you need to know why are the phone you getting is useful?because of the apps that you need to paid for fun? and you telling me you are poor? lol if you own that phone you never poor , well put it this way you might have free games , when you saw few of your friends has some so called cool games , and you are addicted to it . so question come will you buy the game? a lot people would tell me sam no i will no buy the iphone apps i will jailbreak it ,then Oo really ? then when you want to send to warranty? you think reset the whole machine they will like don't know what happen? even a spoil hard drive can leak naked photo on the net , and super star become star and no star also become star . So if's not spoil so do you think it's more easy to recover the data before? LOL YES dude.

They said i don't know about iphone , so i ask how much do you know? you see cool video in youtube right can start a car engine and sync all your email this and that  do you know how to do it now? not later but now? do you really really know how? No i guess.Personally i use a iphone before the 1st few week serious it's cool , and i found out what's the cool parts is , you want to know? the games...

Ok come back for today conversation ,ykin msg me do you have any lubang for the GOOGLE PHONE CALLED NEXUS ONE? so i said no what's that , he said i'm outdated lol well then he ask me you know that phone look so cool , then he suddenly ask i still got iphone with me anot. i ask why iphone ykin said because the games that my girlfriend has is fun, so fun until i want get one. why you want to get one? since she have why not share? lol he said i would like to own it , then i ask again @@ why iphone? he stop for like few min and i know he kinda panic on this situation so i said why no ipod touch much more cheaper can play games , lol it's just don't have that stupid phone call things. he reply with LOL ya why i did not think of that.Then i said why not android phone?he said what's that hahaha actually i know he will give me that reaction , because not much android phone are launch in here so.... i said htc hero quite nice what , can organize mail and facebook , same shit and better stuff then iphone @@ why iphone?few min later he msg me again LOL I think i'm not going to get any new phone at the moment , but i will go for ipod touch lol that's the purpose of use your money wisely what hahaha.

Then I kacau tiben actually then he ask where can i get cheap iphone @@, well let's put it this way there are no cheap iphone due to they have market already , so many people think it's cool and bought it , that make the price never drop but more to come.so the answer is where to buy cheap iphone.... again the question , i reply to him MAXIS center , that's the best deal already ...
you got local warranty and data plan , you no need add more money for the data bill and phone bills. but it's one lum sum i know how you feel but if you don't mind getting the phone why do you mind about the price?he said it's cool sam ... it's so damn cool , lol i know why he said that ....games that girl are falling for it . no comment actually hahaha. so same thing i ask why not other phone? are you a heavy user? or you just want to catch up with others? he's feeling to me is he want to catch up with others and more or less few things that i know that he will know how to use facebooking , go to apple store download free games , insert new songs sms and called that all trust me , the phone function is more then that buy those few things that you need is just few. that why i seriously ask him do you really need an iphone , if you go for games well i strongly comment you go for iphone it's just like a gameboy that no need to bring your cartage and all you need is credit card hahaha  . so i hope tiben choose wisely as a friend comment , i would not say anythings bad about iphone but i will ask what needed do you want when come to phone?so the answer i gave it to him let's see how he choose.

Well i'm an iphone user last year heavy user , i sync my email and stuff but it's giving me hell the battery life is very fast weak , if i'm a sale runner that phone will not suit me , i have to 24/7 charge my phone in car office and etc etc ... well for the games i can only said that apple has some cool great games that i'm quite addicted , so my uncle actually bough that game on the spot , it's 2.99 usd if i 'm not mistaken... lol on the spot , just like that it's ok i understand sometimes when fun come we will just get it and doesn't think twice ... ok ok i'm not said that is stupid but seriously when you having fun things money is like we work for it . so i understand.before uncle pass aways he just want me to be happy , because he know i'm having problem with some problem with the group things so actually that iphone is bought just to make me happy , at that time i don't know why lots of things crumble at once friends ask for help but i scare of they back-step me or what just scare of that , and have many argue with pet brother , i promised myself and i said to myself i must slowly understand him and don't get into conclusion and respect what he said ,because i respect sometimes doesn't mean i have to listen i just don't want to be rude, well being rude will have lots of problem come out so take it as a advice, and i can tell i know what am i doing at the moment so don't put conclusion in some of the things you think.Well before uncle goes away , i just don't know how to said feel so abnormal around ... well life have to go on so put it this way , going aways is a process of learning .... and learning is painful. so put it this way i accept the fact that he's gone but i can't accept the excuses that you bought the iphone well the phone i use more then you use ... so i guess that was an excuses that you want to get a new phone.

so now friends that said want to buy iphone , i will ask carefully why they buy ?
that's why i'm so sensitives at this word sorry guys don't meant to be that sensitives .

My cousin wedding and it's an another massive wedding .... because on that day i know he's a race car driver ... LOL no comment X D . wish him happy forever and congratulation
 Mr Tek KING KONG hahaha X D

My missing path

I came across the same seaside I have no thought about this
My heart was left on a craft boat
looking for my missing path.

at this time the wave of the sea went silent
I look at my folding hand and I open it
my life have a lots of up and downs
I still remember the promises and your eye

It’s not necessarily you need to come back to me
I just put this as a memory like the page of my memories book
when I look back you are not around anymore
things that left back are some of the memories that I don’t remember
I’m empty now there is no people teaching me about this
who still loving me

I came back to the same spot that my memories were gone
when I look at the sky , It turn differently
I just pretend that I’m searching for something at the seaside
although I saw a shadow of a person
but I can’t really see who’s that and I believe that is you.

The sky is getting cloudy my feeling getting moody
things that I see now is nothing it’s just empty
it’s just a living shadow of somebody path
I can’t read the road and find the way anymore.

4 years of hardwork and i'm getting from zero

this few days was rushing final project sketch.
what a great day i have , there's was an accident  yesterday .
I'll not make any long sentence to make everyone worry, all i want you all to know I'm back same as last time you saw when i was injury . well in fact the pain is always there.

I'm actually totally random now , just know that i can back to cycling and things just happen like that.Noting at the outside and all i have is the pain at the inside, actually that's nothing already to me since i work so hard , i tried and tried and end up it's the same old story again. 

I waited 4 years to recovery and one small incident is back to zero, from the starting leg work out , swimming , short walk  and all sort of things and it's just end it here. there are slot for pain for the outside and inside . i just don't get it why every time i try to recover and shit happens?it's not the first time , for the last 2 years the same things happen in life. I rather i did not ask the question at the doctor. Well nothing can change back now , feel the walking pain again. start all the things from zero.

Something that i don't understand,who can define my answer for me?
When someone really know what i'm thinking now.

Maybe i should just stay at home and grow fat , like what people said?
Maybe i should work harder , because it's a process of living?

I just don't know which to choose.
Today i went to have a normal walk around my house area , things are not the same the feeling of the leg is empty and pain.who feel it?

i just saw the msg of his tittle.
feel more random , it's sort of like all the things are coming to me .I don't feel the things you said and i know when you saw me online you will just wipe the tittle off, what's the point of that?just to confest you are correct and i'm wrong? well if you think it that way i have seriously nothing to said about it.I don't want to argue with him because , i don't want him to change me and i don't want to change anyone thought , it because i learn that when i stand at someone position i will see something that we will not usually see. When i know how to stand on people position see things i keep quite and understand before i get into conclusion. I also learn something if i want encounter i'll make sure that i will have a specific reason to give. Mengz were right we miscommunication to each others , he get the wrong answer in his head , and i get my back off charge. 

last year somebody pass away which bring down my personal emotion, well when i get rid of it , things is just coming and coming. He said before" When a person went to the lowest point , they will jerk up to the very high point " so is the statement with me?
went back home today and have a talk with my father , he said to me not to go for cycling too long it might hurts , well that's very good support from him at the 1st time as i can said , he ask me today when i back home for dinner , he said why you walk like zombie , i actually don't dare to let him know and my mum knows that my leg is in medication so she just split out and said it out to my father, and i get cheerful words even bring out the oil for me to use on my leg, he said maybe you work to hard on your leg , actually there's was a small accident that i did not cover.
i started to keep things inside , i don't know who i can splits to .

All i want is somebody that understand me and let me talk before scold me, i don't like when people don't know anythings and they came to me or my friends to said things about me , well sometimes you see i walk normal and sometime i'll not , i have no need to tell a lie because some people they saw the incident.I don't care how you look at me at this moment all i wish is you ask me what's going on and it's better then you make your own answer.

Apologize 
is words to said sorry , it's doesn't mean i'm wrong either the person are wrong also, it's a words that how i rate my relationship and the level of respect to people. that i respect so i apologize. it's just how i rate my relationship.

It's my fault again?

few days ago i painted this out not very nice i can said but it's something related to my portfolio, don't ask me where i get the time i'll doing this for like 2 days already.

I don't know what went wrong and what happen today ... what a weird days , shit happen in one day. Pet brother called up me and tell me there's a freelance job , while the 1st msg was pretty happy when i receive in class , was having presentation mid while , forget to silent mode but lucky i change to low profile more and it's just nice that people that did not hear that,just so surprise about the job and so excited  actually, he keep msg me and update me and i was middle of something was avoid few sms from him that time was brainstorming and i don't want to ruining  my brainstorming section because it's seriously useful , the class extended to 2 oc , and my pet brother was asking me to meet up him and his boss at 1 oc , actually i don't know what time will my class end because they don't have a specific time for DG student , well when the time is already 2oc  i was plan to sms him and ask where is him, then i call back home to ask my mom fetch me because i did not drove to college due to the parking issue, so when i call back home no one pick up , then i call father they ask me to go back myself , and my days was so spoil from there ... damn sad , no one actually stay at my position and look at my situations , and i do understand about the consequence i'm facing now. 

I was plan to go to the Canada education fair before 3oc
I get excited from the morning sms .
I did not get any notice that mom is out and i have to find my way to go home.
I can't give a specific answer to my pet brother because i'm in some issue

There are few things that ...
I can't confirm the freelance because i have heavy work in my hand.
I can't make a promises and time because i'm not driving.
I can't just said I'm coming and let you wait me like crazy.
I have few works that i need to spend lots of time to draw and edit and more.I don't like to receive things like you like how then how this kind of msg things i really hate like i'm creating problem in between .

Please understand my situation before you jump to conclusion because i don't want to make problem , please stand on my position and think for me , if you make Fill in the blank answer then i will be like you what you think, please don't do that . i don't want to change people though and i also don't want people to change my though , so please please please don't stand at your own position and think something because you might get the wrong answer later.

sorry to that if i have made any problems out today , i just feel that maybe it's my fault of all about it , but seriously the canada education fair is way more important ....http://www.canadainternational.gc.ca/malaysia-malaisie/highlights-faits/canadian_education-education_canadienne.aspx?lang=eng(the link)

I'm don't know how to said those things in my life it's just screw up , people around me is giving me hell and i'm sick of it , i did ask myself about it why am i stuck what happen when did it go wrong?a lots of question that i asked myself , there are few reason that make me very mad , people that other is people is always wrong at something , but in fact they just don't know what are they trying to said infront is actually a mirror of their selfs, the other things is my mum , there are few things that my mum always scold me about it , my stuff, the heater adapter  and when I'm at home, but when my brother in law came back it's totally different story his stuff was actually all over the house , and after shower the adapter did not plug out ,so what? I'm the asshole who get fucked up and the other fact my mum just help him plug out the adapter. LOL so it's a fucking joke? while there are things i been kept quite for sometime , people are so sick when you keep quite they just doing things that will over do , so in fact i can bare with it.

They said they working is tired , it look like earning money people feel tired ,so does we IDIOTS !!! I'M FUCKING TIRED TOO SO DON'T JUST SAID SOMETHING LIKE THAT . IF you wants to correct me why not you look at yourself and check rather is that my problem or it's yours.I hate people that correct people but they did not have a solid idol of their self , just the talking everyone is a professional but when it come to doing does it really apply on you .

since Uncle ben pass away news , i been keep quite and it look like i'm left over , things i can't share with someone , no one understand me well then uncle ben who can replace his place , well in fact sometimes to sharp words is really cruel but when i think back it's the real truth about it , people that i respect.

After Uncle Ben passing aways news i don't where am i and what am i doing .basically i'm just lost. Learning the new things is not easy yet not hard too. i need time. 

Life would go on and i'll be doing my best.

worth to try the new fan thanks to mr.kelvin .... poison me ... the fan is good and the rpm is very high , until i don't believe that i try it . can't imagine that small fan are so powerful !!! and it help my overheat problem and now it's solve , the heat of the temperature is maintain so i guess it does help a lot on my computer.Delta electronic is a good company so goes to the fans... there are great !!!! seriously they are !!!

 

How wonderful life is it, i met A Wei at murni that day ... life has a lots of changes , as he said it's all better go to study and have some job rather then we all look like gangster last time lol ... lucky we all change and those who suggest if not we will end up differently in life.

Ok last week is a massive week and so goes this week , seriously i'm so busy yeah .... believe me i'm doing what i can ..... do the best i can and i'll leave the rest ........

Few week ago my mum and sis went to osk investment and i was in the car .... sadly nothing to do and waited for 45 min in the car so i snapshot some of my lovely dog in the car , two dogs were at the car .... can't imagine that they are so sad after mum and sis went down and my little sporty were looking cool at the mirror and stupid were sad and emo at the sit .... hahaha

month ago Meng Heng and Weng Heng bring me to cyber jaya and have a walk walk see see there so i snap some picture.lol so long we all did not been that crazy .... at the mid night .... we went to there.

Lynda Lovett

There are sometimes at this moment somebody would call you and wake you up and said something that you will not usually will listen , to be true this is the time that you can have a lots of words on your head . it's good to share to each of other at this time , but many of the people were sleeping and you can hear the silent and feel the wind blow at you the feeling is just nice while you were talking on the phone and chatting with a soft voice , as the wind blow and blow you feel the cold around you the feeling it's just nice . suddenly there is a voice starting to sing a song ... and you started to get bored and frustrated and you look at the time .... it's 5.45, time to go to bed you hang off the phone and wondering around. there goes my midnight....how about yours?sleeping comfort with the pillow and opening the mouth as big as the moon? enjoy.
to who that call at this times thanks for telling me something that i did not realize , yet it's good that you let me know about it.

where ever said that your are crazy , yes you are .
Why would you care what people said about you? you are who you are.
I did not notice that i have bloged 3 years , so i would be surprise to know that also.

You need to be chill to do something cool ,if you were hot you will do somethings hash.

I'm listing this song over and over again that is Lynda Lovett- close to you.
Well i'm not trying to be famous on Google search engine but i do feel bad , why because i did not really saw Lynda lovett in comment, the only things i saw is her website and her website it's doesn't look like a singer web page i had no idea on that Not even her lyric i can find online  , i've listen to this song because of i'm looking for relaxing music and i did not notice that her song are actually at my hard drive  so i found her, at first i look at the tittle of the sound track i though it's carpenter version of close to you and i found out it's not what i think, and for the 1st time i play finish the songs i stop and i went out for a drink as i was drinking my tea at the cafe , i had the rhythm of the song keep play in my head, and i went back home and play again  and again it's been 2 weeks i'm playing her songs it's the same song i thought i'm a bit over but it's just nice , this kinda of songs it's more to personal like it , some people would not enjoy listening , different people had different taste.

there are few words that keep in my mind again and again.basically it's all !!!

let me be close to you, share you dreams with me , tell me your feel , what bring you feel tonight
let me be close to you , please don't turn aways , in the lonely night , i'll stay.
take my hand we will found our way hand in hand love will never fade together ..................

Is all about the ....

That day i went in to a conversation and i found out something.

It's happy what you have with this relationship,
don't put a fake smile and said yes,
think 1st 
before you answer, 
Are you suffering from this relationship,
Where do you see 10 years later if you in this relationship?
if you answer yourself as lucky as like no body , please go read novel.

well the conversation start when i went to  my friends birthdays party.
there were bunch of rich and middle class people there as i can said that it's a new things to learn in here , the lady started to said something about relationship ...

She said that she though finding a rich husband is what she want but after those question , she said a lots of thing.Which i totally agree what she said about it , it's matter of life who don't want to be happy as it seem , but happiness do come from money people that said no , she said don't wasted time on that , they don't know what it means . well in this fact i know what she mean by that , she said she suffer at this relationship even do she has money to shopping and a beautiful car but she said she's not happy what she have now, she also said that if we suffer in relationship we should just let go , or not bring to marriage because it too late to turn back and 10 years is not a easy way to pass through ,  if 2 years you are wearing a fake mask , keep going  until you found what you really want, that is the things you want.No matter what your husband do , don't ask she said , no matter how much money he just don't ask , no matter what he do at outside don't angry.Well there are few lady were agree about this , i was like "erm now i know why the rich people do find mistress"just a short dreaming but does it apply to all? no comment just listen and listen more and more interesting.Even do the rich uncle would probably agree this  , the table get crowded and many more are joining in talk and share .... lots of them were probably are the same things like that.

The other case is a rich girl having boyfriends , she does give him money to use and car , but you know what she said? she said he will never dumped me (so confident to said that). many of them ask why , you know what she said the worlds are very straight forwards , she said that i have a phone  a very new model phone and my old phone i kept in drawer , so my boyfriends said that he can help me sell off ,she don't mind about that but few month and week later the phone still remain and can't sell off , she said if he would sell it at 50% of the market value i'm sure that the phone is consider sold, so she said something like this , from this point i've know he's love my .... more then me , it start in a small things when things getting bigger and bigger ,she said the boyfriends said that his phone was spoil and she gave green light for him to use her old phone.
she just said something like that.

i was surprise to hear that a lots of things , you can know what's is going on here
just a few simple things , lucky there all come in single or not hahaha who knows what happen later....

thanks for the invite to the party I've learn much and hear much.
Quite busy .....

Things might change my life.

stupid is sleeping !!! hahaha

stupid let me shot portraits 

this things can make you drunk , don't ask i also don't know what's this X D

i don't know what had happen just now ,
i don't know what am i doing so and so far.

went for few can of beer and still not feeling what am i lack of.
today afternoon i though i send the sms to my pet brother but i did not, so i though i were be ignore so i keep it to myself , i don't know what's up now i just don't know , maybe i'm still waiting for the answer ... does the sky that high? does the sea so deep?

it's look like life come to an end , i don't want to know what i'm gona pay for the price for dreaming . things just kept inside where do i share where do i scream ,
i just don't know where am i standing .

THE DAY THAT I STOP MSG HER...
the day that i notice i'm being ignore , i were msg her for few days and one fine day i send her a msg she did not reply me so i guess she was busy , so next day i send another msg same things happen , i did not get reply.

so i guess things would not go anymore further , i think.
so i stop sending msg to her .
maybe it's my fault for no begin serious , you might think of that , i don't know what's your precipitation , but i know my limitations , it's hard to let people know that you are busy when people did not see what you doing , and yet started to compare with others , maybe compare is a right choice , i'm fine with that because so how i'm facing that also. but it's gone now.how can i blame you , you are not the wrong one , hope that see you and you happiness grow.Find a better me.

sorry if i made you wait, sorry for make you think that i'm not serious , sorry for things i did not go for it, sorry to you.Do you still MM ?

when all the things crush together bad things always happen.

Pass month what my pc had upgrade and install...

New stuff add on i should be happy right?

Just a night shot of my pc when it's hot.

laptops are always around me....

i started to hate what i'm doing here X D

another 1tb hdd arrival ... thanks a lot !!!! 

i met a strange men

No ones know why i drop my tears that night , none of them know what happen , things just so unpredictable... all i have to said it's just a flash back ,i been holidays for a month maybe longer , does this matter ?

No matter how far i go how much i do it just won't stop ,
they said i'm emo yeah maybe they are right but do they even know what you think?
NO they just don't feeling up the chat just to talk about you ,when you realize that they are spade.

I met up somebody , and i have lots of thoughts Uncle peter friends daughter were pregnant, i was not surprise to hear that but what surprise me is the boyfriend , he's married man and his wife met an accident and dead, listen well and guess how old could this Boyfriend be, you and i were blinking and eye his age can be your father more then enough , a 48 years old man married with a 20 year old girl ,after hearing that i feel that i have few uncle and friends are like that ... this still not surprise me..the final things , they don't even know each other more then a year ,well at first i though she was MBA... but in fact i'm wrong , she have the baby after a year later,and i ask huh what did miss , i though you said she was pregnant , yes they said , and you know what. that man join us after that , i was shock to see him and happy to learn something from him ,i still haven ask why she is pregnant , well let me tell you the secret , this man is a business investor he plan to have a small coffee shop and maybe a restaurants..and the girl were one of the top student in the college , he said i marry her because she said something that i hear on a cafe , she said i might not the best student in the college but i do believe that what i do my best now is good for my future, and people just want to get a pass for their result they just has no dreams.

I was thinking was that simple that inspire you to make a move to admire her?
he said i been checking her for years about 1 year ago , till i met her and start to approach her , and now is 2 years .
wow shocking news but it's only one year? are you that confident?
he said to us life is all about risk, you try to put a thing in there and you will get 2 or you get none , well in fact i catch what he said at this point.he also said that many people said that buying a house is earning but from what he see it's just another backpack fill with rock.he said a lots of things like this , and he ask me
son do you know what i mean ? i said the 1st 1 you are talking about a women , the second 1 you are trying to said that people don't see what they see , he give a smile at me and tell me son you are quite easy to catch up what do i mean , well he just keep on said and said , it's interesting dude i'm looking for so hard to have this kind of people , they speak what they want and i'm the one to digest the story and facts.

chat and chat till he said until his business , he said dude since we are quite the same mind i would offer you some deal will you be my guest? i ask again what's a deal when it come to deal?so do you want a deal? he ask again i said yes i hope i have extra coins for that , he laugh at me and said you no need to have a sen for this business ,i was thinking and thinking what will it be.... i ask again what business came from zero investment ? he said son i have , all you need to is promise me, again i said i don't make empty promise he whisper to me , after listening that
i've just bring my hand out , you got a good deal.Most of my friends know what i'm doing for the last few weeks.

thanks you for the deal .
i'm just lucky to know you,hope i get more good deal in future.
i sms him.

he reply with
ha ha no worry son , there is still lots of empty space for you.
all you need is to ask.

after talking to him i found out that i did not figure out why his wife pregnant and why one year later ....
he's a smart one.

it's been so long his death ,i'm still thinking about what i do from the pass , it seem like another one is coming to me.
________________________________________________________________

when we start to cry we started to appreciate
when things gone you only started to think
when there is no support we only started to look for it
when we have what we want we started to slow down.

Uncle ben ask me before :
what do you want in life?
what do you appreciate?
what will make you cry?
what gone but you can fight back?
what you get now is what you want?

i can't answer that @@ do you believe?
it's not that easy , you can't have a specify answer...

What a bad luck day ...

What a day ... it's a bad luck day or just something i din plan?
wanted to sleep early but failed ,
wanted to go to post office but pos express down ,
wanted to help Bernard clean his virus but forget he use intel, and my machine is amd.
wanted to sync my phone but there is no cable around
wanted to open pc to surf net but mobo lan card dies.
....

Dell pc is not working fine again what wrong?
thinking of pressing D power and fn power.... yet so much things i've notice that,went to peter there wanted to help him to do recovery but you know what i see 2 damn deleted screenshot, it's has been deleted few weeks ago , peter laptop were having problem so help him recovery his laptop... that 2 screenshot just jump lay on the destop , then i press it see it's file that peter needs ,i discovery that peter were playing friends for sale at that time i think, i was busy doing my stuff , just feel so sad and felt sorry to peter, peter know he's my pet brother so he bought him , and well peter told me that he change his name into sam pet brother , but the other buyer buy back and something like cursing words,ok after looking at those snapshots , maybe peter do it purposely , or maybe not because the file is already deleted i get back the file from recycle bin , so before i ask him clearly i ask peter why do you took those snapshots? he said he wanted to show me but he thinks that that is no big deal , maybe the buyer don't know how to play or what, so he said i've just delete after thinking and he also said sumore that time you rushing your work , you have your own work problem to solve. that why he did not told me , and why did he called me to help him to recovery his lost file because 2 month ago he accidentally deleted some important file that he needs i'm there and i'm sure that is not made by purposely . this is what he told me after i help him recovery his files and when i went home, stupid mobo lan dies thinking want to send over for warranty or use the external lan 1st.

if you can't manage to play a game , then don't put yourself in.
if you can't stand to lose something , and don't want to find ways to earn back then don't start cursing , you just a loser.
if only you follow and play the game wisely, things will be in your way.
if you don't even respect a friends friends , it means you only do something to express for you friends to accept you.
if you would like to curse people , think before you do.
if you started it 1st , don't tell somebody and started to cry like a baby.
if you can't even accept things like that , don't put yourself on track , you can be who you are , you have rights to choose.
if you did not know how to said sorry , don't ask another person to help you.
if you would do that , who you think you are?
if only you know who are you.

You would said it was a joke ,you can't play with a joke and you started to laugh?
You would said don't worry , they still small don't know what is joke.
You would have to try to tell jokes on stranger then you would know it's feel like a joke.
You would help one side because it's already something to you.
You would just help it said a sorry.
You would try to make it happy because it's something to you.
you would said people don't understand it but do you understand it?
You would have the best time now.
You would even give what you have,do it do that for you?
You would listen what it said.

I'm not to bring out argument out here, but you should know what you should have said and what you should not said, i can sleep one night and forget something.
one sentence would made people feel fed up .
don't ask me why i wrote this ,
ask yourself why do you read this?
and why do you blog also.

Uncle tan CL birthday.

it was like 1x+ year I were celebrating with uncle tan birthday, every year i will be there , and he's my father friend.No idea just go this is the 1st time i list down of him because of what he said. sometimes things are funny around , even do he's rich , he still is a kind people as far as i can see , he start his footsteps same as my father , and my father choose not to be so rich he said. it's like open " and close " what just happen? ya i have no idea don't ask X D,i can't change people mind but i can change people thinking.

well well we went to SENRI restaurant i think , whole Panmart were there, we reach there around 8 , and my dad ask me to come back on 6 , sad things happen... was asked my mum to fetch me at the afternoon about 3 i told her to confirm i have to call her, but in fact 3 in the afternoon no one pick up ... and damn i know she's out with auntie shella Y.Y i haven sleep for about 26 hours was doing the 3D modeling ... keep doing until 3 something i stop and i could not go home to sleep , was plan to go home at 3 and had a fast sleep about 3 to 4 hours ... end up ..
my mum called me at almost 5 oc... i'm serious angry and tired, angry has no longer apply after she fetch me , i went home take a bath and went out for an hour, then came home ... chating uploading watch movie until 7 something dad just finish then only went to Uncle tan birthday.

Senri restaurant i think the food is kinda good , the environment is nice too,something inspire me about their interior all about water driping around , but the choice of the preparation is kinda bad , imagine a buffer that only have 5 tempayaki stick for each time , and 10 Japanese rolls at a time , it's just a scam .. i was thinking how would they serve people like this , there are like 50+ guest there , i was thinking is the restaurant 1st time organize a buffer or they din really care what people would said.
all i can said is what we paid is not what we want to get,even do the tempura prawn was like 10 pieces at a time ... for almost an hours the food serving is kinda like slow and people were walking around ... and for me , i was like food food Y.Y where are the food ? there is no food i want food !!! so sad went to the desert conner you think what they serve us? ice cream this and that lots more? ya your imagination were can think more then they prepare...well they give 6 box of ice cream with half of the box is eaten before prepare...this is hard to accept and there is a ABC conner which is only have 10 kinds of mixture well this can be accept.

I think Uncle Tan would not mind about this, because he seem to have fun, maybe uncle peter told me that some people would make the worst things to be the better things in life, so i think Uncle Tan has just apply to it, and for the birthday song singing i feel kinda cold and sad about it i wanted to sing louder to make environment feel joy but sadly i don't want to be a rose in the glass , i don't meant to show off that i respect him , well in fact how much you give is how much you get , the bigger claps you give the louder claps you receive i do believe that i give almost everyone a louder claps.

i saw fake face neh never mind they are always around us , as life goes bare with it or you can't stand it then just act with it .

but i found something cute haha her daughter , she plan his father a cup cake present from Sydney to Malaysia cool... kinda nice about the cupcake .. but but the worst part about the CAKE !! ya even do i don't like eating cake but simple things that the restaurant did not do WHERE ARE THE PLATES , KNIFE?WOW shocking....the don't bother to ask also .... good service and people paid to notice that , i thought Japanese have the best respect to people but for what i see it's all about money only.

All i can said happy 55th birthday Uncle Tan X D.
best wish for you.
July 22 = X
I've just know that date after 1X+ years of celebration with him hahaha
i have a good sleep after more then 30 hours....
``````

Don't promise me ever

Please don't promises me forever
i want us to love each other one day at a time....
...and string all those days together like the precious things they are..
...instead of trying too hard and promising too much.

Please don't expect me
to always be good and kind and loving.
There are times when i will be cold
and thoughtless
and hard to understand.

But it will only be because of the weather
or the flu
or one of my moods...
...not because i love you less.
Please remember that.

Please don't think about all the things
that could happen to us.
don't think about other people
coming between us.
Don't think about outgrowing
each other or growing out of love.

Please do think about all the good things
that could happen to us.
Think of growing closer to each other,
finding new reasons for being together...

...and think of loving .
i will, too.
I'm right now.

Please don't get mad at me
if i forget your birthday
or some special day we share...

And please remember
that there is an "everydayness"
about what we have that is beyond birthdays
and anniversaries.

That's why, sometimes,
I may not rememeber one special day...
because all our days are special to me.

Please don't ever sign a letter "as ever"
Please don't be too easy on me ...
or expect me to be too easy on you.

Both of us have room to grow,
and both of us have to grow
if we want to hold each other's love.

Please don't ever give me
too much of yourself
or take too much of me .
In our togrtherness
we still need our private places.

Please listen to me
when i'm talking to you...
and please
don't every think about someone else
when I KISS YOU.

Please don't start an argument
or make me look foolis
in front of other people...

..but when we're alone
don't feel like you're walking on eggs.
Go ahead and say what you think.
If o need telling off.
tell me off.

Then we can have our fight
and make up
and love again
just us.

Please remember
to call me sometimes
for no reason
except that you feel me thinking
about you,
needing your voice.

Please don't ever lose that laught of yours
it's such a real laugh

And never change the way
you brush my hair back from my eyes
and smile or pull my ear
when i'm trying to be very serious...
or the little odd ways you have
of saying things that make you "you".
one of a kind
the one i love.

Please
let's not use politeness
and busyness and silence
to avoid our provlems
and they places where we hurt.
If something is wrong
let's go after it and make it right.

It's a good feeling
to thinking of growing older with you,
but , please,
let's not ever grow old.

I want us to always hang on to the newness
that we have right now/
And let's never be ashamed
of our innocence,
of the child within us.
let's never give up our dreams.

Please don't try to keep it from me
when you're feeling down.
I'll never be able to share your joy\
if you try to protect me
from your sadness.

Please
Don't ever say never...
and please don't promise me forever.
all i ask is that you love me
now.

And please know
that i love you more
today
than i ever have before.
I can't promise you forever,
but i can promise you today
with the hope and belief
that there is a beautiful tomorrow
in store for us.



Via:rotatingcorpse

Aren't they asking for sorry?

People dripping tear when come to relationship , why because most of us scare of losing it . that is simple , some people plan a relationship a head , might find dirty way to approach the one they love, when time come it all dependence of time.There are some people that don't cry so easy before getting together and yet after a relationship is on things started to goes wrong,when is relationship is on we are blind even do many things we did not notice such as love once start to change their attitude like , when 1st met they would said no for every things, but when times comes they will just said i want a thing, and things started to change here but most of the people did not notice because some people thinking that is getting close , well in fact somebody were just thinking that it's something stupid or maybe a jealousy ,wipe it and save it.there are people always written and have crying called such as they feel something sad about a game or maybe a joke ... and they will tell the love one they cry for a night for that , i have saw something that is kinda stupid and funny if you really really want to know what all about relationship why not spy on a day you might found a lots of things you would not know about, if that relationship is a planner.relationship is build trust , and get to know each other more and more, some people would go for a boring week, repeatedly and they still feel happy , don't you think every week doing the same things are bored ? oh well in fact life is just like that... that is normal if we keep repeat why we do.
it's bored , don't tell me that the world Stupid here because people may just fall a sleep when come to relationship. how good is good how well is well ? i just can't stand people that love to write sad note on a note pad , phone msg or a blog , and it written said that " you don't know how i feel and i hope you don't see this I'm trying to trow away the note" geesh you found it .what the meaning of this ? i had no idea are you trying to ask for sorry?


It's all about sorry...
sorry when time come i hurt anyone of my friends , i might be too late to said sorry but at least you feel something here , sorry that i treat people so cold , sorry that i being a person that straight forward , sorry all the things i might not to said but i did , sorry i build hope but i did not appreciate , if you had a time droping by here i'm glad you are someone that i really need to said a sorry for you . I wanted to go ahead but i have something blocking people might said it was just a fake reason , else i'm not asking people to believe what i had , i know it's just too late to said sorry and yet all i can do is just jog down here.I'm just to said sorry for the people i chase for , friends that i screw up , things i had promises , sorry if i can't really do it , i will still going for what i'm doing but you might feel me cold, sorry is what i want to said i hope you my reader who saw this , i'm just happy if you just read it . sorry.I'm appreciate every moment i had. thank you.

i did not give up , i just don't know how to approach ....

How to understand Samcrictim language

How to understand Samcrictim language
there is few easy words like
BiBo BiBo = it means yes , report in ,accept, sender
BoBi BiBo = it means no , report out , not acceptable , reciever
dido dido = it means Oh yeah , feel like sleeping , use to express sleeping but can't.
dodi dodi = it means oh no , feel like not sleeping , use to express that you are going .

what the different with Bibo Bibo with dido dido?
the different is one is to express and one is to communicate , Bibo Bibo is use to communicate , and dido dido is to express.

examples:
Bibo Bibo - bibo bibo i get the message.
bobi bobi - bobi bobi he's not here !!!
dido dido - damn I'm dido dido now ....damn tired.
dodi dodi - well in fact I've just go to dodi dodi at my room now ...

to whom that feel this.

When people walk away , maybe something is happening infacts there is something that we should not ask , else we can only walk forward and leave people behind put ourself into places and not looking back for memories, so just don't give concern to people that stop, they may slow you down.

so please don't slow down for a person that don't want to help itself we have to walk away and be curel to them because the more you care the more they made mistake, they can catch up with us if they really want.

so sorry i beign so selfish and curel you have to make yourself clear and understand it.


We hunt for food because we are hungry , we do so much and hard work just to push to limits , we work so hard it's just because of money yet not dream , it's all about life till the end we were people that sleeping inside the coffin, where does we really go?We had just no idea where we go, it's so stupid.we just lost!!!!

things that i don't know how to said.....

sometimes i don't know how to said maybe i have to use to it ...
have to learn to walk at this time , i'm free to go i'll never going to look back , all i have is just forget it , you have thought me much thanks alots .
what a news you have, at least you go will the happy way,moment that i play joke with you , talk to you , what you said what you thought ... it just end it here,what else i can ask for , the love you gave me is more then a real father can give maybe,you left with a smile , things that you said in the room that day was my last to see you forwardly how could this happend ? i can start to learn stay alone , maybe i remember i cry on the time when i have a selection you hug me and tell me sometimes things will regret after you choose ,so what are you doing now or later don't worry and don't regret and work it hard , i work very hard i also did what i can sorry you can't see what i'm having now , but i'm not sure can i really stay alone i have no idea, you guide me thought the way this few years althought i did not really know you quite long maybe 4 years is a good realationship,i've remember that time i cry you hug at me it's so warm, i remember i remember i remember .
you said glad that i'm here with you that day , why don't you just tell me that you are not felling weird or what ? maybe i can predict it or what ... a sudden leaving i can't accept it . althought i'm smiling but people do not know my feeling . it's so cold now , tear are droping , things went so wrong . i should have told you more things or maybe i should tell you more jokes that day , i 'm leaving you a empty msg and it's just a few hours chat... i hope i stay longer so i can tell you more things but i can't make it sorry i'm sorry , i thought you want to rest but you were thinking something else , I SHOULD not leave so early i should stay , i should !your giving are more then i can imagine,sorry i'm very sorry i can't change things here but i felt so bad you know.You threat me so well as a son but i can't mange to hold you till the end ,It's not faith , it's my mistake it always my mistake ... there is no one else then here.i can't things now , i'm breaking down... you said "sam move on you did well , proplem that you have is not the problem , that problem you can slove easy". after reciving something after his incident i know what happend and why he lefted something for me and it's something that i've slove the problem , you not even my father but why would you do that , i have no idea , sorry crying at now are pointsless ,the relationship of us is not about that , is the meaning and the facts that we share it's a joyful share , why just why .... sorry i work very hard for what you said and i do and do , i'll never leave you a empty answer for that.things that you gave i don't know how to give back or return , thanks you for all of this years and words. You are a person of the picture gone with ....what you told me that day on the room i'll do i will .

it's worth to read when it's real

finals for 3D modeling the lighting is kinda bad and the texture is kinda week X D no comment get a B+ for the subject X D ..... everythings goes fine .




kah heng 21st birthday X D.

Picture i edited with wallpaper X D

Look at zikang @@ no comment weh ....

Model shooting X D

If You Can..

If you can start the day without caffeine;
If you can get going without pep pills;
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains;
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles;
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it;
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time;
If you can forgive a friend's lack of consideration;
If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when,
  through no fault of your own, something goes wrong;
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment;
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him;
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend;
If you can face the world without lies and deceit;
If you can conquer tension without medical help;
If you can relax without liquor;
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs;
If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice
  against creed or color, religion or politics; then, my friend, you are

  almost as good as your dog.

www.jimgeary.com/faves/IFYOUCAN.HTM

People in the picture "No more"
Have you every saw a picture with tears?
Gone it's all gone , just one night everything gone ....
who's knows about the feeling? who?
No one else does , who cares about it ?
it's just gone ... people in the picture just gone.
things won't go back , and time won't change 
making a anti clock vise clock did not change anything .
it's just change the thinking of human , we are still cheating ourself
just one night it's gone left with the picture .
YOU MAY REST IN PEACE.

People around me the think what they do they din make up thier mind and reply with heart , as given the door is open but the invites stop there , when the door close the invites wanted to go in and want to said something. I could not understand why and what happend , you msg me at the time i reply and just make things invisible? well i'm on my own i guess , if you think that is fun or else ... that could let it be , what are you thinking and what are you doing is a matter of facts ... The door will not always open and the door may close very long for certain reason. i'm middle of busy of something that people would think that i would know something or maybe people will qoutes something on thier private message there and i would know what's going on... well i can tell you one things if what you think is true , i can't change the fact it's already a point of view of yours. what matter now?it's has a funny attitude , no reason to know why because the answer is pop up since early.

There was a situation like this a person who don't know what is correct and what is wrong , he/she is asking for answer by the side of thier own , proudly the answer will have more advantage to the asking side , it's what is answer made of? asking people around and yet people said yes you are correct and he is wrong , you no need worry what he/she said? is this what usally answer the asking side? more or less people would support you just because they don't you to get mad and always go with the same answer that what you having ,no matter how wrong you are they still price you , support you . is this what you want? well lots of people can do that ... avoiding argument but this only kills did not helps , you can think of thousand of reason to make a right person wrong , you also can made of millions of wrong to the person is right. it's all depance on what you see or we can said our heart.

When things started , most of the things are beautiful , people can forget about all of the things, sleeping dreaming each other , when things go abit long and long things started to change 
it's start with simple , and it's getting complicated , why so , let's said  a couple did not have any argument before or maybe talk louder to each other , when things is out of limited one of then can't stand it or maybe it's hold in the heart too long things like this may blow out some situation, when this kinda of situation had it people who's angry will start to blame the weather , family all sort of things . but this only the starting , it's has the 1st time it's will happend then 2nd time but when till the day that he/she can't take it anymore yet things blow out again just like that. That means it's has certain reason to hold the breath so long just to explode one in a wild. make it this way people may though i'm into something , but what sort of things do i get into? trouble? it's that what i want ? or is that what you want? Don't ask for the reason , think carefuly is that really what happend?I'm not god also not an angle what i wrote and what i see is the fact of future use some of my friends believe it what i said and what i read , some said rubbish what sort of rubbish is writing here? i can't even understand, you know why would you said that ? before reading this you heart is already anti about it , so going and going you are just reading my bull shit, yet you think it's a rubbish . matter or facts does it has same situation that you having now or maybe it already happend ?

Thanks you for reading this ,well if you want to send me a message that doens't reply well you already got me , you love your prank right you share to somebody else, so it's fun , it's happy to you do you feel you are the winner ? oh gosh you are just a GOD. You are smart to know things like this but you never know a person feeling , you just worry about pride , right and wrong.

People do judge people at first sign , after a small argument then following days will be more and more diffrent , can prosit to stranger level ... like i don't know you . so this is what people thinking and doing . Life of choice , winner takes all you know why? winner just take all, all of his/her answer, that made them a winner. So are you a winner now? 

it may harm for the strong words , but why people will said that , it's too free nothing to do come to critic and flame? if that a fact then make it your answer , you are always a winner.