Friends?

This feeling is lonely , feel my heart , for way too long .... i lie awake because i'm scare !

there are some feeling that you always stay behind and you got to feel it by yourself it/s hard to tell somebody how you feel sometimes when you don't even know how to express or tell . when the time you notice that you are deeply mad or sad it's too late to share your feeling out because it's just too late. Sometimes people said that they know you well but at the end how much do they really know you when you don't know how much about yourself.

when i'm deeply sad i have no people to tell and said i just sit down at home and listen to my music and start to think of those memories and then start to realize that how many friends do i really have the good one and the just for entertain once i have no idea , somehow i've just feel that begin alone is all i want but too bad sometimes things comes and goes around my life line it's hard .I've no hope on my friends because i don't know what positions am i . sometimes noisy people talking that can calm me down ... i have no idea why and so but that always does at here , but i just don't know what i really want at my life because i'm scare .

 sometimes you stay at home and you look at your facebook and you notice that no one really around there you just don't know what it happens but it happen . well i have there's one day i went to facebook and spam all the online list people that i so called know and  there are one person called johnny reply me and ask me for tea and i actually went out and when i reach there a-wei was there too had a talking season and it's about hours or two we went home because they two need to work and it's kinda late at that time ... in those conversation i've notice that is always people around just that i did not get them updated so people around is getting smaller and smaller connection ... which i notice that it happen on me most of the friends that close to me are not really around ...  i have no idea what happen and why it happen ... weird right . neh it  happen on me i don't know how about you ... i can't hate myself but have to have my own attitude because it made me change ....

I've got a msg from a person he said hei stop blaming yourself when you notice there you are not the problem here and stop begin an stupid ass .. if you are not just stop blaming yourself .

I've stop begin emo because it only make me sad but not solve my problem ...