Yeah 21yo liow

It's been a long way and time i've never update due to personal reason .I hardly sense to move on to the next level , between it has something happend to finiacial problem seem ok but not, how i wish i can just tell somebody, but it's no meaning about it , i aint looking for help but i'm looking for answer. Brother said comming but nope it's not , i hope things are fine here and there just like the old days , that day i been ask myself why did i went to study for? do i really want it or what , i've the answer years ago but when i saw the pain of it ,i've break down and slow down ,i tog that was a fine amount for him but not , i've no idea how many sweat he drop just to give me a happy enjoying life and i'm not saving it just ask for more. things might change a little bit here , there goes for nothing and something now i'm middle of the sea and looking for island . Friends of mine just told me let it be how far you go it's not a fact anymore , it's how much you know.I feel the pain of it deeply , i've said i'll save more for it, i'll do more things and that but all i know is i'm just telling lies to myself, for so far what i've really done is i make a strong selection that has pain within ... just thinking it's really matter me now.

I don't care how people see me now maybe i'm just a talker , might be somebody of wannabe i just don't care about it , all i know the fact is i need to keep to myself just to know what is correct and whats wrong and what do i really need to understand and not so.I'm not good at all but at least i'm something that still contain some values in it.

march 7 it's my birthday
there are many people said that sam i'ma your best friends you know , well make it as a fact 1st ,when come to greetings they are not even a frineds of it , i did not put a notice on the web and other place all i've done is remove the real day. A fine guess for the 1st greeting  was a internet friends not so close but at least send me a msg wish. i'm suprize about that yet happy , not just anythings it's a joy of recieve it , and next was DT send me a msn msg , was really happy because he sure remember my birthdays "evendo my classmate know me 1 year ago also know my birthday, that day march 6 i was keeping my mouth shut and did not menction anything about it some of them give me a suprize wish when i reach class it's kinda happy".i'm just happy on the day but what's make me said is there are a person said that "sam i know you well" he did not wish me at all i hope that is what i heard wrong at 1st place... last year i've set into friendster and some of the website , so they know... and people said things won't change much , it's just additional somethings. for the reason i don't want to argue is i waited the correct date and blog it out and look whos your best friends now?and they do dare to said so loud about it. i just tired listening to those shit that is i live longer i know better stuff, it's piece of shit ... your story doens't contain anymore values to me because it's a lie on it.

night time actuly i did not really celebrate dad and mum said want to have a dinner and i've told them nevermind i have plans later, time pass reaching 10 binwei msg me said want to go out for tea anot so i just said ok and go out with jarryl ,kokleong,chuan and binwei , we went to mcdonalds and have some chat was very happy. After 12 chuan said sam happy birthday to me but it's over 12 de , nevermind it still a wish . just happy that day ... then went home ... uncle ben called up bring me out ... ok ok told them i'll leave soon because i'm not in the mood because of somethings happend this few month and very bad things happend to me , it's personal just don't want to menction. sat down and talk till morning , just fine sometime i don't wish to share those things because it's no meaning in it.

A funny things about here 
that day somebody ask me sam why you blog ?are you try to show something to other people?
i answer most of the people i mention of things happend most of them they don't know what's going on so means that it's just a place to let myself to tell myself what is going on by year comes .I blog because of future refrence , i show is to know what i have that time , i scare that one day i'm nothings but still i have a small little datebase of my story for my ownself to read .
recenlly i accidently went to a blog that is a couple blog i think they invite wrong email , i found out that is no meaning about it ,
they just writing a diary of words and said the writer feel about his/her love one and it's so funy at something , she said "lucky i did not want to eat so you can save up some money for future"
god i'm thinking do you really can save much with a con of ice cream? does it means everybody has 1 dollar in hand and planed how to use in future? and the male reply as "you are my loveonce and great one who know how to help me save money for future." ok no comment onto this, there are something i not use to see in the blog , picture ..... and lucky  i did not take any of it. 
after being a victim of wrong email to enter people blog i've change my mind blog are really not for secret one wrong press you had some wrong move into it.I just found out that blog has no meaning about it , it was like something happend and add on words and she wrote like things are so touching and yet matter of facts i've no idea what's the real reason, maybe he want the male things that she is great to him and him is great to her .... sort of things like that i've just no idea what is that , just so no meaning .....


all being this long year i've pass my birthdays quietly ... i did not really plan to have a party or what .. i just plan to see something that is what people said friends are use to be, from now on i don't believe that things like i know you well, because they doesn't know .After this they might said i'm busy about something and other reason ... no need tell me no need to explaint because you did not own me anythings. i'm ok with it just i found out what friends really means now.

i told uncle ben before if you failed to remember people birthday don't ever said you know he/she well because it may cause something in future... he told last few days ago yes you are correct i do agree with that , uncle ben was in sick this few week i've no idea what just happend he looks tired and not very happy maybe business had some problem, i'm ok with that , as i told myself it's no meaning to share something that people can't help , yet the answer is yourself .I do care about my friends , and i make sure they do treat me like a friends also.